Saturday, January 7, 2012

I know I need to change.

I can count about 3 times in my life where I have been a size 14. (my smallest size)  Pretty sad considering that size 14 is "fat" to most people. 

I've never been to counseling about my weight issue, but if I ever did, the first thing out of my mouth would go something a little like this.

     " I just don't understand.  Is it possible to have the polar opposite of anorexia? When I look into the mirror I sometimes do not see myself as big as I really am."

And that is the honest truth.

How the heck could I have not seen this.  One day I just kind of 'woke up' and saw myself at this size. 

I mean...I knew that I was fat. I've always known this.  I was drinking Diet Coke in Middle School when it really tasted bad.  Middle school probably marks the beginning of my lifetime battle of the bulge. 

I just didn't see myself as that fat.  You know?   Then I got bigger, and got to a point where I could barely walk to the mailbox without my back hurting or losing my breath.

My relationship with food is terrible.

I eat when I'm happy. 
I eat when I'm sad. 
I eat when I'm bored.
I eat when other people eat. 
I eat just because its there. 

Bottom line. I eat.  I eat a lot. 

Oh yea...and I don't exercise.

I knew before the New Year that I would be blogging about my struggle with my weight.  I want to blog about my struggles.  I want to blog about my successes.  i want to blog about my failures.

So here I am. 
(with my ADORABLE niece)

I'm blogging about it.  It's not fun for me to share this.  It's kind of embarrassing actually.  But I know it will change.

I know I will change.

Now to figure out where to start.....................


  1. Thanks for joining my blog and I so know where you are coming from! I would do a lot to become a 14 again - not counting today. Here we go huh?

  2. Hello Dina, thank you for being honest. I too struggle with my diet and I know its not easy. I try personally to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and drink a lot of water to balance out my deep love for food. I love to cook and enjoy eating. Hang in there!

  3. Hi Dina, check out this article from the NY Times, it will open your eyes and you won't be too hard on yourself. Don't give up.

    Happiness to ALL !

  4. Love this honest post. I can relate! I can relate to you feeling like what you see in the mirror is fine--until I read what the healthy weight range is for a 5 foot 2 woman, and I'm 30 pounds above the high end of the range. I am happy with myself, but I'm mindful that I need to be careful because my health--my very life--is at stake. I've just started reading "Made to Crave" because I do think this issue goes way beyond the surface. Blessings to you, and thank you for writing this post!

  5. You start with one step. One change. one thing at a time. Then it becomes manageable. I've known you for many years now and I know you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. You are an amazing person, a beautiful woman inside and out, and you are so very special to so many people. I love you girl!!

  6. Oh ladies ty all so much!

    I'm trying to figure out where to start first...but rest assured...I will be posting about it!

    I appreaciate your input and words of encouragement!

  7. The average American woman IS NOT a toothpick model. It's easier said than done when I say, don't fret over this weight thing. We are who we are. Can we change, yes, like you said in baby steps. Just know that I read this blog after eating chicken enchilada soup with tortillas, drinking a large root beer, and eating a banana split from sonic. Now i'm stuffed silly!! I'd say I normally don't eat this much, but it's tough for anyone to believe after reading what I have written. LOL